03.27.2015

When You Don’t Realize You’re Holding On Too Tight

When You Don't Realize You're Holding on Too Tight

Sometimes you need to pack yourself a lunch just like mom would make and pretend you’re in 6th grade again, that’s what I do at least, sans Capri Sun because hello? I’m a mature grown up.

The other day I was at my desk holding said sandwich when I put it down to answer the phone and saw a huge thumbprint in the side. Apparently I was gripping it with all my might and had no idea. It was a sandwich. Nothing valuable, nothing I needed to protect, didn’t even have cheese on it. But I was holding on for dear life and was sort of embarrassed by it.

I started thinking about other things I’ve been holding onto too tightly. Mostly wedding related things like flower arrangements and cake flavors and lots of things that are only in my mind and heart like dreams and desires for my marriage and my life. Strangely enough, I didn’t even know it until I stepped back and saw my hand prints on it, choking it to death because I wanted control. Holding on tight doesn’t create safety and security, it creates tension. Because guess where dreams go when you hold them really tightly? Nowhere.

May the Lord be with you should you try to pry my hands off the dreams I have clutched so tightly; I have to let go on my own.

And while there’s not a specific day that’s better than another to let go of things, in my personal opinion it would be a shame to waste a sunny weekend holding onto unimportant things. So I’m going to let go a little bit this weekend, how about you?