02.05.2015

The Heart Behind the Name

Living in the Rain: Letting what I can’t control renew me

If you’ve been to this blog at all, you know it’s called Living in the Rain (duh) and you probably thought “Hm, that’s interesting” and then you clicked on About the Blog and hopefully thought “Ohhh I get it! That’s pretty cool!” But maybe you are still wondering “Where in the world did that come from?”

Here’s my answer: I don’t really know.

I had a blog for a while called “Bright and Beautiful”where I talked about always looking on the bright side of life, seeing everything as sweet and wonderful and always being happy (my username was cupcakekailey, how sugary sweet is that??). I got tired of it because I didn’t feel that way all the time and wanted to be okay with being real. This was about the time I found out I had anxiety, and trying frantically to make everything “bright and beautiful” and sugary sweet all the time just wouldn’t work. Ever. And it was wearing me out. Sometimes life was just okay, sometimes life wasn’t okay at all and sometimes, I just had to stand in the middle of something I couldn’t control and figure out how I would respond to it, with joy or with bitterness. Something like rain. I couldn’t change it, I couldn’t make it go away, I couldn’t control it (gasp, I couldn’t have control!) and all I could do was let it help me grow, let it nourish me, let it teach me to rest and let Jesus take over. Just like rain. Much like rain, I also want to encourage growth and create. I want to be willing to make art and live art.

When life is one big storm, your stability depends on your roots, will you let the storm wash away everything sane or will you grow and flourish past the thunder? Where are you rooted and what are you rooted in?

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through this blog is that even if I’m standing in the middle of the rain, I am not alone. I’ve learned the value of community and the impact of words. Not just my words, but your words, too.

It’s a lot to think about when it comes to a blog title. Who do you want people to see in the first two seconds they see your little site? Do you want to hide your mess behind a pink font and words that are true only 10% of the time or will you speak the truth in love, even if it means a typo every once in a while and maybe you don’t even know what the heck you’re talking about anymore?

Are you trying to make everything look hunky dory when you’re falling apart or are willing to rest in chaos?

I still search for the bright and beautiful things, even when they’re harder to find. I try not to take myself too seriously and find joy in the everyday. I choose to live in the rain, rest in chaos and learn to let what I can’t control renew me. I hope you’ll choose the same.