Archives for March 2015


When You Don’t Realize You’re Holding On Too Tight

When You Don't Realize You're Holding on Too Tight

Sometimes you need to pack yourself a lunch just like mom would make and pretend you’re in 6th grade again, that’s what I do at least, sans Capri Sun because hello? I’m a mature grown up.

The other day I was at my desk holding said sandwich when I put it down to answer the phone and saw a huge thumbprint in the side. Apparently I was gripping it with all my might and had no idea. It was a sandwich. Nothing valuable, nothing I needed to protect, didn’t even have cheese on it. But I was holding on for dear life and was sort of embarrassed by it.

I started thinking about other things I’ve been holding onto too tightly. Mostly wedding related things like flower arrangements and cake flavors and lots of things that are only in my mind and heart like dreams and desires for my marriage and my life. Strangely enough, I didn’t even know it until I stepped back and saw my hand prints on it, choking it to death because I wanted control. Holding on tight doesn’t create safety and security, it creates tension. Because guess where dreams go when you hold them really tightly? Nowhere.

May the Lord be with you should you try to pry my hands off the dreams I have clutched so tightly; I have to let go on my own.

And while there’s not a specific day that’s better than another to let go of things, in my personal opinion it would be a shame to waste a sunny weekend holding onto unimportant things. So I’m going to let go a little bit this weekend, how about you?


An Island Far Away

I got to celebrate the lovely holiday which is spring break even though I am no longer in school. Praise be to God. I got to tag along with my fiance and his family on their vacation to the British Virgin Islands, a place I am still not 100% certain of it’s location though I indeed flew there. Add that to the list of “Things Kailey is super aware of.” We stayed on Virgin Gorda which indeed means “fat virgin” because when Columbus discovered the place, he thought the island looked like a portly woman lying in the ocean. I’m going to go ahead and just assumed he KILLED IT with the ladies also.

The water was gorgeous, I got to sail for the very first time, and much to my surprise there were large hills on the island that were hikeable (and very steep. I just about gave out halfway through.) I just assumed that islands were flat for some reason (back to my super awareness of geography…)

Since there are so many tiny islands nearby, we would just take the boat and go for the day. Nothing feels more adventurous! Nothing feels more humbling either when you’re on hour 2 of sailing and you realize that the Mayflower took months to get to America. So thankful for the pilgrims, but also so glad I wasn’t one of them. I was made for quick trips where snacks are provided. But I can always jump on board for games to pass the time (pun intended).


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Now, lest you think this is some sort of romantic getaway based on these carefully chosen photos, full disclosure: his entire family was there too, including a 5 year old and a baby. So it was more of a noisy entourage situation than a ‘you, me and the sea’ situation. But that’s what makes trips like these truly fun, the people that are with you and I’m glad I got to share this with the family that will be my family in a few short months!

Have you ever traveled somewhere with a strange name? Did you go anywhere for spring break?