Archives for September 2014

09.30.2014

Distractions and Redirections

Have you ever prayed for a distraction? I have. Every day for the past 3 weeks actually. Ever since everyone else besides me started to hear back from graduate schools. I haven’t heard a word. Not even a no. And all I’ve wanted to do is not think about it which seems nearly impossible.

So I prayed for a distraction. I found a new show to watch on Netflix, reorganized my bookshelf and closet, deep cleaned my bathroom and pretended I wasn’t thinking about it.

I pretended I wasn’t worried that in less than two months  I don’t know where I’ll be living.

I pretended I didn’t care if I didn’t get in anywhere.

I pretended I didn’t feel like a failure.

I pretended I wasn’t worried at all.

So last Thursday, I fasted from graduate school. From thinking about it, from compulsively checking my email, from checking my online applicant accounts, from asking other people where they were going, from bringing it up. And it was beyond difficult. Every time my mind didn’t have anything else to think about, it wandered to what-if’s and I had to consciously steer it away. It took more mental effort to not think about it. I ended the day relieved that I could do it, I could physically not think about graduate school! (More than a small accomplishment)

Then that weekend, I didn’t think about it at all. I spent time with friends celebrating an upcoming wedding, I drank a cup of tea slooowly, I went to a concert, I had conversations that spoke life into the worried parts of my heart, I was shown grace and love in countless ways.

As I came to the realization that I hadn’t thought about grad school once, I began to thank God for distractions to keep my mind from worrying it when He gently helped  me realize that the worrying was the real distraction and He had merely provided a redirection. He opened my eyes to beautiful people and moments and joy that had been so easily robbed by worry about graduate school.

So I’ve stopped praying for distractions, I don’t think God answers that one anyways, I pray for redirection, refocusing and opportunities to see grace instead of seeing potential distress.

I pray you find comfort in the same. As you face this week, may a shift in focus clear the cloudiness that insecurity and unsureness bring.

Full Disclosure– This mentality and motivation is a work in progress. Case in point: I waited to post this because I hoped I would have an answer on my future before I bared my soul on the internet. Not the case. Praying for a redirection as we speak.

Have you ever prayed for a distraction? Has that prayer ever been answered?

09.17.2014

Influence Conference Meet and Greet

I’m going to the Influence Conference for the first time this year! I’m so excited and thrilled to hug the necks of some wonderful women who have poured into me online over the past year and a half.

Last year, I didn’t get to go and figuring it out in these words helped me find a group of women who also wished they were somewhere else, and it was beautiful. This year I get to go and I’m so excited to see what God will do through those moments, as well.

This week, The Influence Network is hosting a little meet and greet link up on their site for the women going to introduce themselves and I’m thrilled to jump in and be a part of it!

Hello! I’m Kailey, a recent college graduate learning how to live life with a full time job and no homework and it’s a different kind of hard but it’s grand thus far! I live in Dallas, TX, the city I grew up  in and I’m slowly but surely making the city my own. I’m a friendly introvert who reads a LOT and writes a little bit. I love to learn and I’m so looking forward to meeting you!

What I’m Most Excited About: Meeting my online friends in real life and learning alongside them. It really feels too good to be true! These are women that are changing the world online and off and they’ve taught me so much through their lives already that I can’t wait to learn with them in person.

What I won’t leave home without: A sweater! A: I get cold constantly, B: The word on the street is that it’s actually fall in Indiana. So this Texan is busting out her scarves and sweaters early people! I will also be toting along my favorite journal because I want every word I hear to stick and that’s the best way I know how.

 

If you’re headed to the conference next week, let me know in the comments! I’d love to meet you online and offline! :)

 

09.06.2014

Weekend Benediction

Give me the grace, Good Lord

To set the world at naught. To set the mind firmly on You and not to hang upon the words of men’s mouths.

To be content to be solitary. Not to long for worldly pleasures. Little by little utterly to cast off the world and rid my mind of all its business.

Not to long to hear of earthly things, but that the hearing of worldly fancies may be displeasing to me.

Gladly to be thinking of God, piteously to call for His help. To lean into the comfort of God. Busily to labor to love Him.

To know my own vileness and wretchedness. To humble myself under the mighty hand of God. To bewail my sins and, for the purging of them, patiently to suffer adversity.

Gladly to bear my purgatory here. To be joyful in tribulations. To walk the narrow way that leads to life.

To have the last thing in remembrance. To have ever before my eyes my death that is ever at hand. To make death no stranger to me. To foresee and consider the everlasting fire of Hell. To pray for pardon before the judge comes.

To have continually in mind the passion that Christ suffered for me. For His benefits unceasingly to give Him thanks.

To buy the time again that I have lost. To abstain from vain conversations. To shun foolish mirth and gladness. To cut off unnecessary recreations.

Of worldly substance, friends, liberty, life and all, to set the loss at naught, for the winning of Christ.

To think my worst enemies my best friends, for the brethren of Joseph could never have done him so much good with their love and favor as they did him with their malice and hatred.

These minds are more to be desired of every man than all the treasures of all the princes and kings, Christian and heathen, were it gathered and laid together all in one heap.

Amen

This prayer from Thomas More is one of my very favorites to repeat when I feel like the words won’t come organically. I pray these words breathe true for your deepest desires.

 

Happy weekend Friends.